So where do I go from here?

I was told I wasn't the person for the role. I.e. I am now jobless again. whoopee. Oh well. Time to dig in and start over. Again.

Spend the weekend in Scotland. It was ok, except for spending most of the time in a car driving around. The first hotel room we were in was amazing. HUGE, with an open fire (which was lit) roses waiting on the table and a canopied bed. The kind you actually have to have a stool to climb to get in, some 4 feet above the floor. amazing stuff
I think however that if I do not start feeling something for this quite amazing guy that's been so kind to me, I will have to stop seeing him for a while. I don't want to hurt him but I have tried so hard to love him and I just seem not to be able to. It's quite sad actually.

Visited some memorials. I had to get a firm grip on myself and distance my mind - I do this frequently. It doesn't mean I don't care, of course I do. But if I let myself care openly I'd never stop crying. And that'd be no good.

Another fun-filled week ahead... another adventure tomorrow! Helping to Chose a Bathtub. Well actually I was banned from helping with that as I was told I would not be helping. huh.
Oh well, pizza and packing tomorrow. I love moving houses (I'm not moving, I'm helping out) because a) it never takes the time you think it will and b) you always find things without fail that you thought you'd lost, or that you'd forgotten that you had...

I think I'll go and look through my stuff now, you never know what you'll find!